that's so fetch.

welp

One year ago - 100 views
welp
i write (surprisingly well-received) alex gaskarth fanfiction now and i also make sets for it and i also don't do my homework. this is very ~a+f preppy~ but it's in character, okay guys, it's in character! and i at least tried to make it kind of pretty? (tried being the keyword here)
 
god fucking damn it sophocles can go to hell.
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top five reasons why i should be a millionaire
or, at the very least, a small lottery winner.
 
i don't know why, but lately i've been having a loafers obsession. my mum thinks it's weird, but she's got this strange sort of image of me and my sartorial choices in her head, due to me wanting to buy fishnets. she freaked and went on this very long ramble about how she would not allow me to become a hooker, because apparently fishnets = hooker. and now, when i tell her i like loafers, i'm a grandma. insert nerimon gif of WHY DOES NOTHING PLEASE YOU from the twilight diaries.
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[hh] - february twenty fourth

Two years ago - 265 views
[hh] - february twenty fourth
apologize for the iffy set, i've been gone for a five day long holiday in san francisco, and i'm trying desperately to catch up.
story later, comment to be included?
 
//
 
February 24th: You’re late for tea! We’re all heading to the local coffee shop for tea and scones to work on homework.
Dress Code: Casual

[hh] - vic's birthday

Two years ago - 286 views
[hh] - vic's birthday
fuc.k polyvore, seriously. i spent a hell of a long time editing out my story for the 'bad words' and then it just decided to glitch or something and delete my bloody set when i published. we are not amused. ugh.
 
that said, et voila, story:
 
//
 
February 17th: Happy birthday Vic! There’s going to be a party for Vic held in the ballroom of a local hotel.
Dress Code: Dressed to Impress.
 
//
 
'Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Viiiiic, happy birthday to you!' the girls and guys of Oxford Day sang loudly, clapping and whooping after. Although they were all dressed in their best designer outfits, the happy birthday song would never not be sung- it was too worth it, just to see Vic's face turn bright red as she struggled to blow out the seventeen candles on her marijuan.a-leaf shaped birthday cake, courtesy of Scarlett, Karlie, River, and a very discreet baker.
 
'She will be so baked,' Scar giggled, stifling the sound with her fist as everyone crowded around their table to see Vic take the first bite.
 
'-Everyone- will be so baked,' Karlie replied as River cut the first slice for Vic. Unbeknownst to the rest of the crowd, Scarlett and Karlie had, shall we say, modified the recipe a little. The cake wasn't just shaped like a marijuan.a leaf anymore; it was simply filled with it. The two girls held their breaths and laughter in as Vic took a bite, her eyes growing wider as she tasted the familiar dru.g.
 
'What the hell did you guys do?' River hissed.
 
'You'll find out soon enough,' Scar said, pointing towards Vic who was now basically inhaling the cake like a lifeline.
 
'Guess everyone's a big fan of our cake,' Karlie laughed, smoothing down her teal dress.
 
River rolled her eyes and kept slicing through the cake as the rest of the crowd filtered back to their seats. This party for Vic was being held by her parents, as if to say 'Look honey, if you stay clean, look what nice, proper parties you'll get!' As proof of everyone staying clean and socializing properly, Mr and Mrs de la Rouge had even hired a photographer to document the event. Of course, things weren't exactly going the way they'd imagined. The champagne was 80% alcohol, the cake was almost 100% pot, half the people had already slept with someone random here, and the fact that nobody actually considered this the actual party- This was just a placeholder, a one hour warm-up for friends to talk normally with friends, wannabe-underclassmen to eavesdrop on the juniors and seniors, until the ballroom floor was cleared of tables and the bartender came in. Then the real fun would start, and hopefully not finish until well into the following morning, their classes be damne.d.
 
As the cake was delivered to each table, and gradually eaten, a chorus of 'Ohhhs' rose into the room.
 
'Oh, my God, guys,' River said, staring at the cake and Karlie and Scar with a 'I cannot believe you actually got away with this' look.
 
'Nice pot,' Ela said nonchalantly, finishing off her cake with a dainty bite. 'It's from Danny, right?'
 
Karlie nodded, a little surprised that Ela would know who the dealer was just from the taste. 'Thought Vic here deserved the best on her birthday,' she grinned.
 
'Best birthday cake ever, girls,' Vic said appreciatively. 'Gonna make this hell of a party go down a lot better.' The girls around the table nodded.
 
Scar cleared her throat. 'I propose a toast,' she said, tapping on her champagne flute with a spoon until the rest of the room quieted down. She stood up and brushed an invisible piece of lint off the front of her dress before carrying on. 'A toast- Fuckk Vic's parents, and let's hope Vic gets fuckedd tonight.'
 
'Fuckk Vic's parents,' the rest of the room repeated obediently through a few giggles.
 
//
 
'Oh, my God, the suspense,' Aria muttered under her breath as the last minute of the 'party' ticked down. The rest of the room had their eyes on the clock unflinchingly; the upperclassmen willing the clock to move faster and the underclassmen dreading the moment when they would be kicked out.
 
'Don't lie, you want the alcohol out just as much as we do,' Karlie muttered back.
 
'Yeah, so I can make a fool out of myself with some random guy I don't even know?' She rolled her eyes condescendingly and picked at her nail polish. Karlie opened her mouth to fire back a comeback but then the hour changed, and everyone was up in a flash. 'Shots!' Vic yelled giddly, throwing her arms up into the air with Scarlett. 'Seven shots of Jack!' River screamed at the bartender, who was suddenly looking slightly scared under Vanity's demanding gaze. 'Hurry it the fuckk up, man!' she demanded as Glass joined in with her: 'We're not pu.ssies, give us the strongest you've got!'
 
Karlie laughed and pushed her chair back, shaking her hair out of its bun and slipping off her earrings- she'd fallen asleep at a party once and somebody had thrown up on her diamond earrings. Never again. 'Well then, bitchh central, I'm gonna go have some fun; feel free to join when you've got the stick out your ass,' Karlie said to Aria before standing up and grabbing Vic, Scarlett, and River.
 
'Come on, Ela and Vanity have already done like ten shots,' River said impatiently.
 
'Let's go,' Karlie agreed, speeding up and stealing somebody's shot. 'Hope you don't mind,' she tossed over her shoulder as she turned towards Ela and Vic, who were having a drinking contest. 'Come on, Ela!' Trent yelled, grinning teasingly towards Vic as she fake-glared at him. Karlie could just see Harper being offered a drink out of the corner of her eye; she turned him down with a sad smile as she looked towards Trent, who was now kissing the back of Vic's neck in an effort to make her lose. Poor darling, Karlie thought, filing it away in her head and making a mental note to talk to her later, back in their room.
 
'Fancy seeing you here,' a familiar voice said, interrupting her stream of thoughts. Karlie turned, and - of course, because her life was just that romantic comedyish - it was the guy from the plane. Max something.
 
'You, more like. Don't you have a Burberry campaign to shoot or something?' she said, turning back around to face him full on. She'd been flipping through an old copy of Vogue yesterday and seen a Burberry ad with him in it, looking intense and brooding as he held several handbags in various shades of lilac.
 
'Shut up; I was fifteen, I didn't know what I was doing,' he laughed. 'Buy you a drink?'
 
'Sure,' Karlie shrugged. She didn't feel anything for Max - unless you count lust - but she wasn't about to turn down a free drink. 'Screwdriver, please.'
 
'Good taste,' he murmured appreciatively before calling the bartender over. He'd unbuttoned the top three buttons of his shirt after the first party ended and she could just see the corner of his cross tattoo.
 
'So, you gonna tell me the story of that?' Karlie asked, nodding towards Max's chest and then pulling down his shirt when he didn't get it. 'This,' she said, tapping it with a fingernail.
 
'Oh, well- Short or long?'
everything is a subtle arthur and eames reference now.
fingers
ghosting across lips
and stolen touches
taken
not given
 
specificity
too much to ask for?
 
apparently
with dreams
everything is a kick
 
//
 
I have a love/hate relationship with poetry. I like it when it's disjointed and ambiguous (like this, although i'm definitely not saying i like my little 'poem') but I hate stories told in poetic form. So this... This is, I don't know. I just had "fingers ghosting across lips" in my head for days and I needed to get it out. As I cannot write songs and stories are a no-go right now, here it is. What was going to be a love poem that makes no sense has turned into a meditation on Arthur and Eames' relationship that makes no sense.
 
Apologies for the weird set, I just really liked this outfit. Also still bemoaning the lack of Cillian Murphy's accent in Inception. I swear to God, if any Irish person - anyone at all - asks me to marry them, I will wholeheartedly agree just to hear that accent.
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jack just wants to fucck a burrito

Two years ago - 349 views
jack just wants to fucck a burrito
pervy max is pervy blog '11.
 
brought on by maddywillbreakyourlittleheart : http://www.polyvore.com/lawl/set?id=28146533
 
several convos starting off with 'I JUST WANNA FUCCK THIS BURRITO' and ending in awk
 
You: I JUST WANNA FUCCK THIS BURRITO
Stranger: Well, what are you waiting for??
You: *fuccks burrito*
You: lol alex is gonna be pis.sed
Stranger: oh no, thats burrito ra.pe!
You: it was consensual
Stranger: Okay then it's fine
You: <69
You: burritos love me
Stranger: they must after that
You: you know it
You: kinda loud though
Stranger: fuccking a burrito?
You: yeah
You: the burrito couldn't get enough
Stranger: I.. alright
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 
//
 
Stranger: lets cut to the chase im a horny guy thats looking for a horny woman
You: I JUST WANNA FUCCK THIS BIRRITOO
You: *burrito
Stranger: ???
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 
//
 
You: I JUST WANNA FUC.K THIS BURRITO
Stranger: Rawr?
You: miaow
Stranger: make sure its not hot
You: nah man it's best when it's hot
Stranger: haha XD
Stranger: you might be better with the meat and bean one so you have a little more texture
You: yeah and tea as well
You: peter always says to do it while sipping tea
You: well later then
You: got more burritos and tacos to do
 
//
 
You: I JUST WANNA FUC.K A BURRITO
Stranger: ME TOO!!!!!!!!
You: U SERIOUS
Stranger: YA!!!!!!!!!!
You: IT'S BEST WITH TEA
You: PETER GASKARTH TOLD ME SO
Stranger: woah
Stranger: cool
You: yea i know
You: alex'll be pissed though
Stranger: oh yeah
Stranger: BYE
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 
//
 
Stranger: hey
You: I JUST WANNA FUC.K A BURRITO
Stranger: cool
Stranger: might burn
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 
//
 
You: I JUST WANT TO FUC.K A BURRITO
Stranger: wow
Stranger: me too man
You: DUDE
You: THAT'S SICK
Stranger: i kinda want a shin job
You: what
You: burrito's not enough for you?
Stranger: burrito's are good and all but when a girl sucks on my shin
Stranger: its just unexplainable
You: dude
You: burrito's give crazy amazing blow jobs though
Stranger: ive done the burrito but one time i put it in the microwave way to long
Stranger: and it scarred me for life
You: fuc.k man
You: okay i have the trick
You: drink tea while doing it
You: peter gaskarth told me so
You: it's a lifesaver
Stranger: idk who that is but i will def give it a shot
You: meh okay man
Stranger: ok
You: well dude
You: you're boring
You: leaving now for alex
You: later
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 
//
 
You: I JUST WANNA FUC.K THIS BURRITO
Stranger: do you know pain olympics?
Stranger: that awesome
Stranger: i wanna try that
You: HEY DUDE
You: YOU TOTALLY SHOULD
Stranger: is it a spicy one?
You: NAH MAN
You: THOSE DO BAD THINGS TO MY DIC.K
Stranger: wahahaha xD
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 
//

{17} - 'what's it called?' 'kiss me.'

Two years ago - 357 views
{17} - 'what's it called?' 'kiss me.'
(gossip girl by cecily von ziegesar - amazeballs. almost makes you forget how much of a shitshow the tv series has turned into. two totally different worlds though; in the books, serena and nate are otp, and i actually... like vanessa? what??)
 
17 - include your favourite perfume.
Pink Sugar. I mean, not that I actually wear perfume (spritzing some liquid into the air every morning? too...much...work... and there's the, you know, 'no my daughter will NEVER grow up she is a fairy princess forever' mindset that my mum takes towards this stuff) but this stuff is amazeballs. Some people don't like the smell of sugar ("Ew! Why would you want to smell like food?") but how can you not love it, siriusly. IT'S SUGAR. Made to be loved. Although I feel like if I actually wore this perfume every single day, it would end up like me + lipgloss. ie, feeling hungry all the time and attempting to eat myself.
 
sidenote: two sets in one day?? if i don't watch myself i'll end up like past-me; polyvore-addicted all over again. dammit guys, i've already got tumblr, can't be doing this with you too.
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i have the french part of bad romance stuck in my head
except i don't actually know the words to it, so all i have is a sort of vague mumble that goes like "j'adore na vous, je n'aime pas mes amis, j'adore na vous, JE N'AIME PAS MES AMIS."
 
//
 
i just went through all my past sets (okay, maybe not ALL of them) and i read all the comments and everything and oh my god. it's quite something seeing who you were a year ago, isn't it? now i'm... well, i've got a massive hard-on for anything old and musty and dusty and looks likes it's old enough to buy a scotch that can buy its own scotch and i'm getting into music like belle and sebastian and the decemberists for some reason. it's hilaaaarious. my room is just as messy and i'm dead set on becoming a pretentious film freak hipster and ~experimenting with my hair like... vanessa abrams, actually. (vanessa in the books = badass. vanessa in the tv show = orangeorangeorangeorangeorange.)
 
along with that, oh gosh, i miss you guys.
underline bold italicize seven times.
nobody's even reading my things and looking at my sets anymore and right after i publish this i'm going to go and track down everyone i used to talk to (angel, gaanploo - i hope i'm spelling that right - , jesse, etc) and everyone i idolized as a polyvorian (emyemoemu- or is it emyemuemo? - , kneesock, thimble, etc) and just WALLOW IN NOSTALGIA.
 
...mm. i just thought- what if, when we're all seventy and in our rocking chairs, what if what we reminiscence about then are things like "oh, remember when that thing came on tumblr?" and "oh, remember when nathan died but then he came back alive and we were all crying with happiness?" and "oh, remember when i entered seventeen sets in the mulberry contest but none of mine won even though i spent ten hours on every single one of them?" it'd be awesome, guys. everyone else would be jealous. actually, everyone else would be dead because they'd be smoking and drinking while we were tumblr-ing and polyvore-ing.
 
but my main point was:
god, i really really miss this.
i miss the feeling i got when i made sets like i actually wanted to make then something special and i miss everyone and ugh you guys have made me flaily and incoherent.
i kind of want to laugh and smile and cry at the same time.
oh god, look what you've done to me polyvore, you've made me emotional.
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lusting after summer + topshop blog 2011.

Two years ago - 1,031 views
lusting after summer + topshop blog 2011.
Is is strange that I can no longer look at the word 'jealousy' without "Jealousy, turning saints into the sea, swimming through sick lullabies, choking on your alibis..." immediately popping on into my head?
 
Hello, my name is Maxine and I lead a productive and enlightening li- HO SHIT IS IT 11 ALREADY I SWORE IT WAS 9 LIKE TEN MINUTES AGO.

watchin' the mtv movie awards....

Two years ago - 136 views
watchin' the mtv movie awards....
rpatz and kstew are so adorably awkward.
isn't spin magazine here? i think it's spin, at least. ahh, i have so many things i need to do. i'm going to aberdeen tomorrow. and i'm going to go shopping with my best friend. topshop! yay!
 
and it turns out i'm actually in cork, not 'co.ck', like i said a few weeks ago. heh. turns out my dad has an english accent when it comes to his "r"s. ie, he cannot say them.
 
that is all. summer is wonderful.
...
shi.t. i don't think i remember the quadratic formula.
 
OH WELL.
WHO NEEDS MATH WHEN YOU HAVE KERRANG AND MTV AND JAMMIE DODGERS.
 
oh yeah. and this set sucks. :)
 
and i made the poly-bot cry. exasperation.